Monday, December 31, 2012

We survived and returned from Christmas and suddenly I'm pretty sure that my baby is now a little boy. He is walking better than ever, can make a handful of animal sounds ("baaa" has been his favorite over the past week, but today he pulled a wolf figuring from the Lincoln Logs set and said "meow"), when he wakes up in the morning he puts his hand to his mouth to signal that he is hungry and not up for any of this lounging around in bed stuff! He can now talk about his shoes, "shhhh", also. He also knows where all sorts of body parts are: eyes, ears, nose, mouth, head, and piggies, and in the last week, he started to be able to point them out on himself or on you.

We had a wonderful Christmas and got to see everyone which was really nice. Even Grandma Ruth Ann and Grandpa Mike came to New Jersey for a visit! Micah got lots and lots of time with Grandma Michelle which they both loved. It's so nice to visit with family too because I think Micah learns so much from having a change of scenery and a change of faces. Different people just expect different things from him and work to teach him different things and those are the times when he seems to grow up overnight.

He was wonderful on the car ride home. He slept for an hour and a half and made it through the first 3.5 hours before he really needed a break (by which time is pants were completely soaked with pee as it turns out, oops!)! I had to break out all the new electronic toys to keep him entertained for the last 1.5 hours or so but who can blame him on a 6 hour car ride! When he got home, he walked straight into the living room, picked up his little rolling popping toy, rolled it into the kitchen, walked back to the living room, dug through his building blocks, and just continued from there to take all the toys out that had been left behind over the holidays.

I am looking forward to a wonderful 2013 with this little guy!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

An additional noteworthy event... Micah suddenly knows all sorts of animal sounds. We discovered this on Friday. I have certainly told him what sounds all sorts of animals make but I have a feeling this is more a result of daycare/babysitting than it is of my personal influence. He knows if you ask him what a Cow, Dog, Sheep, or Owl says. He's learning what a Pig says. I'm working on teaching him what a Rooster says. It's pretty amazing how well he can distinguish when I didn't even realize he understood language until this past week! He also says "Banana" clear as a bell. He clearly asks for "Water" when he's thirsty. And of course, he is pretty good with "down" and "good girl" in reference to Kaya, although you have to know what he's saying in order to understand those two. Despite this weekend's illness, this baby is about to explode, it's really remarkable to experience!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

It looks like we have survived the first "major" illness. On Friday night, Micah had a completely normal evening, went to bed at his normal time, and woke up crying a little after an hour in bed. I let him put himself back to sleep, but he woke up every ten or fifteen minutes for the next hour and so I finally decided to go give him a hand going back to sleep (Michael was at a bar to see some live music that evening). The minute I walked in his room, I smelled it and it only took a minute to realize that what I smelled was vomit. My poor baby was soaking wet, I turned on the light and saw two significant piles of puke in the crib. I felt so bad. I cleaned him up and sent Michael a message to let him know what was going on. In the meantime, I put Micah in the baby carrier on my chest while I changed his sheets, wiped down the slats of the crib, and moved all the dirty stuff into a pile in the other room.
Then he threw up again, this time on me. At that point I lost it, I did not know what to do, I couldn't keep changing his clothes (or mine) and I felt so so bad for him. I called my dad who calmed me down, then Michael called and I calmed him down. While I was on the phone with Michael, Micah puked for a fourth time and I hung up, took his pajamas off, took my disgusting shirt off and just grabbed a baby blanket to cover us while I rocked him in the rocking chair until Michael came home.
Of course, as usual, Michael is amazing and he immediately grabbed my robe to cover me up, gathered up the dirty laundry, checked to make sure the puke looked "normal" (assuming either one of us would know what abnormal looks like), and got me a glass of water. In the meantime, I decided to lay on the floor with the baby, so Michael got pillows, and our comforter, and all the towels in our closet. And that's where we slept Friday night. Micah probably puked on me at least another six times over the course of the night but it stopped around 2am and at 3am, I snuck some pajamas on him while he was sleeping and laid him down in his crib. He woke up a few times asking for water, but I was afraid to give him anything so I just comforted him back to sleep and we made it through the night. It was horrible but I think we managed it well.
Of course, he spent all weekend recovering, didn't really eat much, slept like a maniac, and then he passed it to both of us. So I spent Sunday with my head in a bucket and had to call in sick to my brand new job yesterday. I guess it isn't coincidence that he got sick right after I started my new job, it's totally normal for him to get sick after starting daycare and being exposed to other little kids and all their germs. Ah well, it's actually kind of nice to have that under our belt.  

Growing Up (December 7, 2012)

My baby is not a baby anymore. I realized this when I brought him home from daycare last night. I can exactly pinpoint the shift but there are several things that I think contribute to the realization. First, he cried this morning when Michael dropped him off. That was the first time he's done that. When I picked him up, he started crying again, seemingly out of relief that I came back for him. And I think that he hit his stride on walking yesterday like never before. For the first time, he doesn't look unbalanced at all, and he was running everywhere he went. Also, he was all over the place. I was trying to cook dinner and he was just circulating from room to room on foot. And he was frustrating the heck out of me because he seemed to clearly have his own agenda for the evening! Another thing is that I think he understands most of what we say at this point. Michael was giving him instructions last night ("get the ball for me" or "stack your blocks") and he knew exactly what was being asked of him. Similarly, when Michael was around the corner on his way home from work, I asked Micah, "Do you know who is coming home?" and he clicked his tongue like he does when Michael plays the drums. Then I asked where daddy was and he started laughing and cheering and made a bee-line for the door. It was pretty adorable. But not the actions of a baby. My baby is not a baby.

November 30, 2012

Week 1 of two working parents with baby in daycare and everything is wonderful! The first day Michael brought Micah to daycare, the babysitter (a neighbor) said he didn't cry even for a second, he took two long naps, and when he woke up from them, he was singing. She said that none of her (seven) children would have ever been able to do that, especially at a stranger's house. I have to say, that was definitely a relief. A new job is stressful enough, I am glad not to worry about how my baby is doing at the babysitter's. It's rather surprising too because it's the first time ever that he's regularly skipping nursing before going down for a nap and he seems to not have a problem with that at all. It sounds like he's doing well with the other kids, he's sleeping at home like never before since he's so worn out from playing all day, and everything just seems wonderful!

Toddler (backdated November 22, 2012)

My baby is a toddler. He's been taking steps for a while now but on Thanksgiving day he seemed to put it all together and was walking everywhere he went. On the 20th we noticed that he was able to stand up without pulling himself up on anything and I guess that was the missing link to some degree.

These days he walks across the room to greet us, grabs my purse and slings it over his shoulder before walking around the house with it, and has even tried walking instead of crawling on the stairs! I guess we're ready for a whole new round of baby proofing.

I'm definitely sad to see his crawling stage go. I love that when I lay down on the ground, he stops what he's doing and crawls hard and fast straight to me and then proceeds to laugh his ass off while draping himself across my body and burying his face in my stomach or rolling around on top of me. I love when he wants to go back through a doorway he came in from, he goes into a reverse scoot on his hands and knees. I love that to get down a single stair, he turns around and backward crawls down that step, he even does the same to get across a threshold where the flooring changes from one room to the next. I'm looking forward to the next stage and I'm enjoying where he is today, but I'm going to miss my little baby when he's gone.

November 19, 2012

Micah and I had a wonderful day today. He has been very mom-centric lately. Michael seems to be fairly understanding but I would imagine it might make him a little bit jealous. Every time Micah comes down with Michael after taking a nap, he immediately looks for me in the room. When I go to get him from a nap, we always spend a few minutes snuggling in the rocking chair while he rests his head on my shoulder and sucks his thumb. And it seems like every time I decide to do something like cook or straighten up, Micah decides that is the time that he wants me to hold him and he won't take any substitutes.

There wasn't anything particularly eventful about today but I got up with Micah at 8:15 (he slept late!) and we played in the living room together. We did a lot of tickling and wrestling today and I laid on the floor with him while he climbed on me and rested on my a whole bunch. There was also one moment this afternoon when I was checking email on the computer while he did his thing pulling everything in the kitchen of the shelves, and then he crawled around the corner from the kitchen, sat down in a half sitting and half crawling position, cocked his head to the side, and very intentionally batted his eyes at me. I just broke down laughing and he just kept doing it and then kept crawling around the room while occasionally pausing to throw his head back and bat his eyes. It was very strange and very adorable.

And then tonight, Michael was playing some music with a friend and I decided to take a bedtime bath with Micah. It was so nice. He seemed to enjoy the bath more than usual. I'm sure it didn't hurt that the water was deeper and warmer than usual, but he also spent a lot more time exploring the properties of the water: splashing and playing with cups that we have for the bath, kind of crawling around. It was just really fun. And after his bath, he wasn't cranky like usual. He happily let me put lotion on him and put his pajamas on, he wasn't chomping at the bit to breastfeed, and yet he went down to bed wide awake and still went to sleep right away when I left the room. I can't imagine a more pleasant bedtime routine and it was highly unusual.

Glorious Sleep.

Micah was sick all last week which lead to terrible terrible sleep patterns suddenly appearing. So we decided to get him on a good sleep schedule once and for all as soon as he was healthy again.

On Monday night, we set up camp in the guest bedroom for the week. We put him to bed at 8pm, he woke up around 2am and Michael went in to soothe him and put him back down in the crib, he woke up again around 4am and I fed him, and then he woke up around 6am and Michael again put him back to sleep. On Tuesday night, he woke up at 4am and Michael put him back to sleep and I fed him when he woke up at 6am. On Wednesday, he woke up at 4am again and when Michael put him back down, he cried for at least a full hour before falling back asleep. Again, he woke up at 6am and I fed him.

Last night he slept straight through until 6am at which time I fed him, and he slept until 7:30 this morning. It was really stunning. By far the longest he has ever slept in his life and the longest uninterrupted sleep I've had in the precisely 14 months since he was born. (If only I wasn't sick and waking up regularly all on my own last night).

Hopefully this is a new pattern! I could get used to this.

November 13, 2012

Micah is doing new things every day. Last week he had a tough cold and got into some really horrible sleeping patterns. It didn't help that the time changed early last week as well, so he was ready to go to bed an hour before we were ready to put him there and he was ready to get up at 6am. I think that as much as it had to do with the cold, it was also because he seems to be hitting some kind of physical and developmental growth spurt.

He is regularly asking for "more please," using the hand sign, as of the last two days. One day it just seemed to click for him and now he wants "more" beans and rice, "more" apple, or "more" cheerios. But he is also just as likely to want "more" potato chips that one of us are eating, "more" oyster crackers that no one at all is eating, or "more" egg shaker that is sitting out of reach on a table.

He's also been picking up verbal words like crazy. "Buh" for bye. "Wah-dh" for water. "Bah" for ball. And today when I gave Kaya the command to play dead, he pointed his finger at her and said "Bang" clear as can be.

I am told that the Frankenstein walking phase will not last for long which is a shame because it is so adorable. He is still mostly interested in controlled falling. He'll take five steps toward me while mostly just letting himself fall off balance in my direction. But he can also take several choppy steps from one place to another when he concentrates on it. He can also stand up from the floor without pushing up on a piece of furniture on occasion.

I cannot express how much we love this little baby. We all took a shower together today and both Michael and I had a moment, the same moment, when we just could not stop staring at Micah's beautiful eyes. Another wonderful thing about Micah's current stage of life is that he loves me so much. We spend at least thirty minutes every day with him just sucking his thumb, resting his head on my chest, and wrapping his free hand around my neck while I hold him and rub his back. It is the most wonderful feeling and I try not to do anything but enjoy it while it happens because I know he won't be wanting to do that for long.

October 25, 2012

Today we went to the zoo with some friends and I think it was the first time that Micah really saw the animals. First we went to the sea lions and Micah stood at the window above the tank and watched them and pointed down at them below us. Then we went into the deer section and he again was pointing and watching the deer intently. It was really stunning to watch how closely he watched the animals. He did the same with the goats and sheep, the donkeys, watching the sea lions from below, watching the sharks from under the shark tank. He also loved looking in at the fish in the aquarium as usual. He loves the giant fish tanks and will just stand at the glass and look in at them. I also turned him loose in the tunnel under the sting ray tank. It was adorable, he crawled in to the tunnel and stood up at an underwater window, looked in at the sting rays for a minute, and then saw that the top of the tunnel is glass and he could see me through it. He just started grinning, I crouched down and looked at him through the tunnel and he just exploded in joy and laughed while he crawled at top speed back to me. It was wonderful. Definitely the best zoo outing yet.

October 24, 2012

It's been a fairly eventful week for the babe. On Sunday, Micah took his first solo steps. One step toward dad and then one toward mom. We were all in his bedroom hanging out when it happened. Today (Wednesday), he took two steps toward me at the park and it was a little different than the steps on Sunday. Today's steps seemed intentional. He looked at me and thought about whether he should sit down or just try to get to me by stepping forward. Also, he stayed standing and balanced after the first step and not until the second step did he lose balance and sit down.

On Monday we got some surprising news. Micah had a blood test done last week and it came back with a reading of elevated lead levels. Apparently the low end of the scale is 0-9, medium risk is 10-14, and high risk is 15-19. Micah's lead level is at a 10. I was very saddened by this. I felt like we haven't done enough to clean up the house and his environment to protect him. And of course, when the hospital called to tell me, they were completely unhelpful but promised to "send literature".

After cooling off for a few days, I think that it's okay. I'm going to try to do a few things to reduce his exposure: cleaning up and covering up the fireplaces, and making sure to wash his hands a lot more frequently. It seems like he must be picking it up outside because all the paint inside our house is covered and we have a water filter that should be filtering out any lead in our drinking water. So I figure he must be picking it up on his hands on the porch or the sidewalk, or anywhere else, he crawls around everywhere we go. I'm just trying to do more hand washing after he's been crawling around on the ground. Of course the other problem is that he does so much thumb sucking so he's constantly dragging his hands on the ground and then sticking his thumb in his mouth. The main reason I've decided not to sweat it is because I realized that for that kind of hand to mouth exposure, he's getting as much exposure now as he will at any time in his life. He's crawling and thumb sucking like crazy right now but in a couple months he'll be walking and that will reduce his exposure a ton.

Another sad event this week was what I've been calling Micah's first alcohol related injury. Last night he was picking up and putting back down an unopened bottle of beer. This is something he does pretty regularly because we keep our active case of beer next to the fridge and replenish fridge beer from there. So he takes beer from the case and puts them on the floor and back again, and then takes them and puts them in the china cabinet and in and out of tupperwares, and then back into the case. But last night when he was doing this, he was putting the beer in and taking it out of a cup holder on a large cooler and he dropped it directly on his big toe on his right foot. The toenail turned black and blue almost immediately and his toe swelled up. He cried and cried and clearly didn't want anyone touching it. He also woke up crying every twenty minutes or so after I put him to bed at 8 and at 10:30, Michael suggested that I pick him up and snuggle with him so I took him to bed with me and we snoozed together until around midnight when he woke up again and I fed him and put him back in his crib. I was certain that the toe must be broken but this morning he seemed to be doing okay and he didn't seem to have a problem all day. He still doesn't want me to apply pressure directly to the top of his toe, but he's been walking on it and getting up on his tip toes just like normal all day, including crawling and climbing around at the park without socks on, so I have a feeling it's just bruised. I really did feel bad for him though and Michael was in the kitchen when it happened and has been kicking himself for not intervening and taking the beer away. There's no way he could have known of course, and it's something Micah does all the time without a problem.

All in all, this boy is growing up by leaps and bounds. He says Daddy constantly, he occasionally says "Wa" to ask for water, he has learned to take apart the Duplo blocks and has been trying to put them back together, he has learned to push the bottom buttons on the microwave and has occasionally cancelled the cooking cycles, he also has been doing a lot of waving lately which he didn't do for a while even though he did know how. I can't even put into words how much I love him. Life is wonderful with him in it.

Becoming a Boy.

I feel like something has shifted and Micah is becoming a little boy all of a sudden. For one thing, he cried when Michael left for work this morning. This is the first he's done that. He crawled out on to the porch as Michael walked out the door this morning and then he held onto the porch gate and watched Michael's car drive away and when the car was out of sight, Micah sat down, looked at me, and cried. Just for a minute but it was soo cute.

He's also been doing the cutest thing lately which is every time I put him in his car seat, he almost immediately takes off his socks. It's just so funny. I know it'll get old fast but for the time being, I love it.

October 5, 2012

We had a horrible experience today. Micah loves going up and down the stairs: the stairs to the second floor, the stairs to the basement, the front step to the house, the steps up to the porch, the stairs and steps on the playground equipment.

We were sitting in the living room. I was doing some prep work for a phone interview I had this morning. Micah was playing with toys from his toybox. He crawled across the room and I noticed kaya following him with her nose to his diaper. It was so cute and I have never seen her do that before. I made a joke about it to Michael and took Micah upstairs to change his diaper. Kaya was right, it was completely full.

I put Micah on the floor in his room and went to wash the diaper out in the toilet. I went back and put it in the diaper bag and then I called for him to follow me. He rushed over and went to open the curtain that hangs in the doorway to the stairwell. I held it back for him and then stepped forward to work my way around him and get onto the stair below him. He's really really good on the stairs so it was an important precaution but I wasn't in a huge hurry. Before I could get to him, he rushed for the stairs and had so much momentum that even as he was turning to get his feet down to the first step, he started falling and rolled all the way down to the landing, he landed mostly on his butt and then continued to fall backwards and his head hit the landing.

It happened so fast I couldn't do anything but scream "the baby is falling down the stairs." Michael was in the basement playing drums and heard it. He came running upstairs. By the time he got to the bottom of the stairs, I had scooped up the screaming baby and was at the bottom of the stairs with him.

He was fine. He was screaming but not a bump or bruise on his body and he recovered after about ten minutes. But it was none the less horrifying.

I'm sure lots of kids fall down stairs or off the bed or something like that and so I don't necessarily feel like a bad parent or anything like that but I do feel really sad about it. It was so scary. I love that baby so much.

Things.

There are so many things that I want to capture and I never remember to take the time to write them down! Here's a brain dump: Micah loves being twirled around when he's in the carrier on my back, he usually enjoys being tickled, he loves cuddling up to me right after he wakes up from sleep or a nap. He lays his head on my left shoulder and sucks his right thumb and he wraps his left hand around my neck and scratches my back or plays with my hair or just lays there and it is perfect. He loves the Peek-a-Who book and will read it to himself making the sounds "ah ooohhh... ah ooohhh" and he will finish the sentence when you say "peek a...", he whistles on command "Micah can you whistle?", he turns the tv on and off very carefully and deliberately and he knows to wait while the tv turns on because it doesn't happen right away, he knows the sound of his dad's clock radio and as soon as the radio comes on, he dives off the side of the bed to play with it, he especially loves his dad's book light and carries it around the room with him in the morning, he loves socks as much as Hazel did and will pull them out of the hamper or pick them up off the floor and carry them around in a hand or in his mouth. Micah loves to carry things around in his hands: a baby spoon, a wooden spoon, a table spoon, the giggle stick, the xylophone mallet, a wand with glitter inside, a duplo block, a small cup, a piece of paper, a leaf, a tiny piece of wood chip from the park, the things he selects never fail to surprise me. He enjoys crawling into the corner of the living room by going under the end table and then he has a tiny baby sized space to sit in behind the arm chair, he really loves to unroll the toilet paper but I almost never let him, he really really loves beer bottles and cans.

July 18, 2012

My ten month old baby is growing by leaps and bounds! His newest game is standing up and sitting down. I put him in the pack n play this morning and kept hearing him banging against the side of the thing. When I stopped to watch, he was pulling himself up to stand and then plopping back down on his butt again and again and again. It was very cute. He pulled himself up on the toilet when I had him in the bathroom with me too. Definitely time to make sure those toilet lids are kept in a lowered position! And yesterday, Michael took video of him doing the same thing on the edge of our bed. I have a feeling it's all downhill in terms of trouble making from here!!

July 6, 2012

I had a wonderful day off with Micah today. We're in the middle of a ridiculous heat wave so I spent most of the day figuring out how to stay cool. We went out for breakfast like we often do. Micah had a bunch of scrambled eggs instead of eating all my worthless white bread. We tried to put him down for a nap, but he's so proud of how well he can sit up that he couldn't stay laying down and he just sat in his crib and cried for the whole hour. Part of the problem is that he sits right up next to the railing, often dangling his feet out, and I don't think he can get himself laying back down from that position. When it came time for his 12:00 nap, Michael went in every thirty seconds and laid him back down until he gave up and slept for two hours. He really needed it!

After that nap, the two of us went to the mall. Micah befriended a three year old at the mall playground. She was completely in love with him and he was fascinated by her. It was adorable.

July 5, 2012

We had a fantastic day off yesterday. Micah is so close to real crawling (Michael says he took two real crawl steps this morning) and he's trying to pull himself up to stand, and is getting really mobile, and it's so fun to watch him learning. We started the day yesterday by going out to breakfast (that was after ignoring Micah crying for 45 minutes starting at 6am, his new wakeup time). After his first nap, I met Sondra and walked to the park to watch the local kids decorate their bikes for the 4th of July and parade around the fountain. Micah enjoyed it and also kind of enjoyed dipping his feet in the fountain. After that we went to get a drink at the Bryant Market and someone Sondra knew shared a slice of muenster cheese with Micah which he loved. Then yesterday afternoon, we went to the pool and Micah really enjoyed the water. He especially loves splashing in the troughs along the edge of the pool. He was also really amused by us going underwater and then reappearing in front of him.

This morning when I went into his room, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding on to the bars of the crib, and swinging his legs over the side. He's so adorable!

Working on crawling skills at the park this morning:

Trying to stand up, also at the park this morning:

June 30, 2012

Micah got his first band aid today. We are spending the weekend at Matt's family's camp because it's in the mid 90's in pittsburgh but about twenty degrees cooler in the allegheny national forest where we are.

Not surprisingly, there is a lot of beer consumption at the camp. And Micah sure does love empty cans and bottles. So he was playing with an empty beer can and it turns out that those openings really are sharp. He cut the middle finger of his right hand just next to the finger nail. Didn't bother him a bit but I noticed because it was bleeding like crazy.

The only way I could get it to stop was a band aid and it was completely fascinating to him. He just stared at his fingers while he opened and closed his fist again and again and again. It was adorable. Eventually, her put his whole hand in his mouth and started sucking on it and I had to take the band aid off to be sure he wouldn't get it off in his mouth.

June 26, 2012

Sometimes I wonder what in the world we do to entertain ourselves when we are at home with the baby all day. Here are some of the things we do:

Take a walk, swing on the swings, sit in the grass, go to the zoo, go to the aquarium, go to the petting zoo, go to the library, take a bike ride, go to breakfast, go to the pool, feed the ducks.

Some of the other things I would like to do this summer are:

Go to Phipps conservatory, watch a parade, go to an indoor playground, blow bubbles.

Watch Out!

Micah pulled himself up to stand for the first time this morning. I was sitting in the living room with him and he was sitting facing me. He reached up and grabbed my arm and worked very hard to straighten his legs and then raise his torso and then he turned and grabbed onto the edge of the exersaucer and started playing with one of the toys that sticks up on the edge. It was pretty incredible.

I feel so lucky that I stayed home until his first nap today. Tonight is a late night at work for me so Michael is putting him to bed and I stayed home a little longer than usual to get a little extra baby time. Sometimes I feel very jealous that Michael sees most of Micah's firsts first. It was nice to have one to myself!

He's also super mobile with regard to scooting. He does an army crawl type thing where he reaches in front, lifts his body off the ground with his toes and pulls himself along with his arms. He hasn't quite figured out how his knees can play into the whole thing yet and any pushing happens with his feet. But he can make pretty good time with this method!

Travel

We are preparing for our first flight: New Hampshire next week. It's hard to anticipate how it will go. I'm working on a packing list and planning for what to bring on the plane. I have a feeling Micah will spend a lot of time sitting on the floor at our feet, he's not so keen on sitting in our laps for long periods of time. It's a bit nerve-wracking every time we do something new. Exciting, but nerve-wracking nonetheless. On the list is a bottle for ascent and descent, cheerios, toys and pacifier... And of course the list grows exponentially when I try to figure out what we need to have for the course of the week that we're there.

This is the life.

I had such a wonderful evening that I feel like today was the best day ever and yet I had a very stressful day right up until I got home. Michael and Micah picked me up from the bus stop. When I walked up to them, Michael was sitting on the steps of a church across the street and Micah was in the stroller. When he saw me, he lit up, started talking, sucking on his toes. We sat there for a while and when I picked him up, he reached out for the lily plants behind me and ran his fingers through them. As we walked home, he rested his head on my shoulder and sucked his right thumb, holding my right shoulder with his left hand. The feeling of holding him, the weight and the warmth of his little body, is completely perfect. I tried to shade his eyes from the setting sun while we walked. I kissed the top of his still mostly bald head. I pressed my cheek against his head and smiled while we walked. About a half a mile total. A wonderful, wonderful half mile.

When we got home, I fed him avocado for the second time, and he liked it for the first time. I gave him some purple potatoes and put some on the tray of his high chair for him to try to pick up. He couldn’t but he did grab at them. I fed him some avocado and let him stick his hands in the bowl and smash it between his fingers which he loved. Then he rubbed his goopy hands across the highchair tray and all the remaining potatoes stuck to them. He didn’t know to put his hands in his mouth but he just kept rubbing his hands around on the tray, loving the slippery texture. I fed him most of the avocado, ate some myself, and ate some off of his hands too.

He was so exhausted. After I gave him a quick bath,  I changed and fed him and he fell asleep while nursing. I sat him up to read him Goodnight Moon before putting him to bed and he stuck his right thumb in his mouth and his head slumped forward and he fell asleep sitting on my lap. He just could not bring himself to stay awake. I put him down in his bed and he was asleep instantly.

Changes

I think Micah became a kid yesterday. He didn't exactly do anything differently but I feel like he did the things he always does intentionally. Michael was tickling him and he kept turning away and burying his face in the crook of my elbow. He always does this but yesterday it seemed like he was actually playing with us. When I gave him a bath last night, I could swear he was actually mimicking having a conversation with me. It was the same babble and the same sounds he always makes, but somehow it seemed like he was actually pretending to talk to me. And then he turned to the toy he was holding (a little cup he plays with in the bath) and seemed like he was pretending to talk to it too. Even the way he was kicking in the bathtub seemed different to me somehow. I can't explain that one.

Another significant change is that the past two nights, when I put the monkey on his stomach, he grabs it by the head and puts the pacifier in his mouth by himself. It's so cute and so grown up! I'm sad that I'm loosing my little baby already!!

Good Morning!

I had (my half of) the bed to myself all night last night for the first time since Micah was about a week old! I've been reading a book about sleep and it has become clear to me that our little baby had colic. Though I got zero support from my pediatrician on that and therefore I would have adamantly argued against it at the time. I've been thinking a lot about those days of bouncing on the exercise ball all day and all night, wearing the baby in the wrap 24 hours a day lest he get upset.

We managed it well and one of the ways we managed it is by sleeping with him. First he slept in the wrap and I slept on my back that way for about 2 months. When he was around 3 months old and starting to come out of his fussiness, I started just sleeping next to him so that I could feed him without either of us waking up (he was eating every 1-2 hours ALL night long). And I'll admit, I enjoyed snuggling up with him at night. But at the same time, I couldn't move or roll over because if I moved away from him the slightest bit, he would cry.

Since reading this sleep book, we've put him on a sleeping and napping schedule. The first week, we had him going to bed in his crib by himself without even a peep after four days. The second week, we scheduled in naps at 9, noon, and 3 and he never complained! This week, we're working on getting him to go a little longer between feedings overnight so that I don't get exhausted and bring him into the bed at 3am. Last night he only ate three times overnight. I know this still seems like a lot, but the night before, he ate five times in a 12 hour period and that doesn't include the feeding when he went to bed or the one when he woke up at the end!

It's really wonderful. I would say we should have done this sooner, but the only reason we didn't is because he couldn't have handled it sooner. As soon as we noticed his cry shift from a cry of panic to a request for company, we stared letting him figure it out on his own. I think we've got lots of good nights ahead! And I'm looking forward to them!

Silence.

The baby is sleeping. I can't even begin to express how wonderful it is to have a baby who goes to sleep when I put him down in the crib or playpen. I should write a thank you letter to Jodi Mindell who wrote the book "Sleeping Through The Night". That was the most productive 4 nights of crying I can imagine! Only one night of me crying I might add. And only a sum total of 2 hours and 35 minutes of crying over the course of four nights for the baby. Now he just goes to sleep! I would never have believed it if I didn't see it happen!

Balancing Act

It is not easy to do all the things I want to get done in a day! While Micah has slept until 7am the last couple mornings, he typically likes to get up with me in the morning and sit on the counter in the bathroom while I get ready for work. He alternates between staring at himself in the mirror and watching me in the mirror and finds it to be absolutely entertaining. I'm always sad when I have to leave for work, especially because mornings are his absolute cutest time of day. I even enjoy him when he wakes up at 5am and lays in bed babbling to himself until he realizes how hungry he is, nurses, and then passes out.

By the time I get home from work, I only have about an hour before it's time for his new bedtime routine. At 7pm every night, I give him a bath, put on his pajamas, read him a story, nurse him, and put him down in his bed. While he's not doing anything like sleeping "through" the night, he goes to sleep without a peep and does the same every time he wakes up to eat during the night (which is still about every two hours).

Finally, Michael and I have a little baby-free time in the evenings! Of course, we mostly use it eating dinner and watching t.v., but I'll take it!

While I do enjoy my routine, I do need to start writing more. I made this resolution for a reason and I'd like to be in a regular writing routine by the time this year ends.

Growing up.

We had a great (short) weekend with Aunt Karen and Uncle Bob this weekend! Micah slept the whole way there in the car which is a first, and when he woke up, he wasn't even screaming. We played a bunch of bridge, watched playoff football, and Micah slept for four hours at a stretch on one occasion overnight. It's really incredible how quickly he's becoming a little boy. When he starts to cry, you can actually cheer him up by talking to him cheerfully. He sits quietly in the car seat now and just checks out his surroundings. He's been sucking his thumb lately and much less interested in the monkey pacifier. Tomorrow he has a pediatrician appointment, and I think he weighs around 15 pounds already. I'm trying to just enjoy the stage he's at and not miss the stuff that's passed too much or anticipate what's to come but it's hard. I can't believe how fast he's growing up! I'm going to miss the way he lays on his back and just flails his arms and legs when you put him down to change his diaper. I'm going to miss how easily he's entertained by smiling at him, giving him raspberries, making kissing sounds, or showing him his reflection in the mirror. I'm also going to miss wearing him in the little Moby sling even though I think it's doing long term damage to my back and shoulders.

Back to the grind

It turns out writing every day is a pretty tough resolution to keep. Even right now, I'm wearing the baby in the Moby wrap (a lifesaver) while I type. My first full week back to work has been pretty rough. No one is particularly happy with the arrangement and no one is getting much sleep. Micah fusses about sleeping all night long and wakes up around 5am ready to share his toothless grin with me (which is adorable, but sooo early!). He basically refuses to sleep at all for Michael during the day so he's grouchy all day long. And when I finally get home around 6pm, I take over crabby baby duty, Michael is therefore on kitchen duty, and I spend over an hour trying to convince Micah to go to sleep around 7pm despite the fact that he's desperately tired.

Tonight I decided to revert to our old routine of letting him sleep his first shift or two in the Moby. I'm hoping that giving him some more contact time with Mommy will help him sleep better and get back to being a cheerful baby. It's just a shame because I wish I was home with the baby, Michael wishes I was home with the baby, and the baby wishes I was home with the baby. But it's just not possible. For the time being, I'm trying to enjoy my time with the baby and realize that this will pass before we know it. When he's 16, I'm sure we'll be wishing we could have these problems back.

Laughter

This deserved it's own post:

Micah laughed for the first time yesterday. I thought he had been laughing for a long time, but now I know I was wrong. This wasn't an open mouthed grin while cooing, he actually chuckled. I came home from work and we went to sit on the front porch because it was beautiful out. I had him on my lap facing me and I was talking to him and he just chuckled and then I laughed and then he laughed some more and it went on for a few seconds. Then a minute later, he did it again. We tried to get it on tape, but you know how that is. Once the camera was rolling, he was over it. What a wonderful sound though, I can't wait for more and more laughter!

Resolution Shmesolution

So much for writing everyday! There has to be a grace period on making resolutions part of the standard routine, right?

The first week back at work went well. Don't tell them I said this, but I actually kind of enjoyed it. I was working on a large document that had been created in my absence and was due to be completed this Friday, but was really not ready to be submitted. It was nice to feel appreciated, at least three people told me they were glad I was taking it over.

The only struggle is that Micah seems to be eating more from the bottle than he would if he was nursing and I'm having a hard time keeping up. I had Michael pick up some Fenugreek which is supposed to increase milk supply and I'm trying to play catch up over the weekend by pumping an extra ounce here and there. Hopefully my supply will increase in response to increased demand very soon!

Even though being back to work is really going well, it's really hard to be away from the baby all day. I miss him and I'm very jealous of Michael spending time with him all day long. Plus, it's clear already that Michael is a better caretaker than me. Well, I suppose that's not necessarily true. Micah and I mostly watched tv all day long, but in my defense, he has only recently become able to interact for an extended period of time so maybe if I was with him now, I'd be taking care of him differently too.

I'm hoping to talk to our CEO one day this week and see if it would be possible for me to work four days a week for a while. I'm not sure how that conversation will turn out. One of the other women in the office who just had a baby is doing it, but her job is very different from mine and I think it might be harder for me to step out of the meetings and trainings for a day every week. But I figure that with not traveling, my role is changing right now anyway, so I have the opportunity to really redefine what I do and how I work. Wish me luck!

The end of the beginning

Tomorrow is back to work. Luckily my husband was wise enough to suggest I work only half days during the first week back, so that is what I'm doing. I'm not really nervous to go to work or even sad to go to work, but I am sad to lose all my baby time. In the past three months, I spent many nights sleeping with a sleeping baby on my chest all night long, then we moved on to sleeping next to a sleeping baby, I woke up every morning to a bright eyed and smiling morning baby, I walked to the little market around the corner with the baby in a homemade "Moby" wrap, same set up for walking the mile and a half to Target, walking through the park, eating out for breakfast, brunch, and dinner. I have learned to hold a baby while cooking, eating, feeding dogs, going to the bathroom (and washing my hands), wrapping Christmas presents, you name it. I will miss his warm little body in the wrap while he naps during the day, I will miss the way he stretches when he wakes up from a nap, I'll miss his pouty lower lip when he's about to scream. I know that I will have plenty more time with all these things, but I'll be sad to miss any of them at all.

I never thought in a million years that I would be one to want to stay home with the baby but sure enough, I am! I don't know what I would do with myself as a stay-at-home mom, especially right now when Micah isn't old enough to be really doing anything, but I sure wish I could do it.

Unfortunately, I can't. So I'm setting the alarm for 6:30. I will feed him before I go. And at 7:50 I will board the 87 to head downtown. Just for 4 1/2 hours. Hopefully someday, I'll find a way to stay home.

2012

I'm not sure how 2012 can beat 2011. I had my first child in 2011! Best year yet. One of my favorite experiences was introducing Michelangelo to all his new family. I'm so glad we got to share so much of his early life with our family and friends over the holidays. I have also loved the 3+ months I got to spend at home with him. There is nothing better than laying in bed in the morning and watching him just grin at me for half an hour before we get up and moving. I will miss that most when I go back to work on Tuesday. 

For 2012, I have three Resolutions:

1. Use people's names - I'm always afraid to do this because I'm afraid I'll get someone's name wrong and as a result I don't end up remembering anyone's name because I never use them.

2. Don't blame - I'm hoping this will help me to be more understanding, less angry, to harbor fewer hard feelings toward people, and in the end make both my work life and my personal life more enjoyable. 

3. Write every day - I want to remember my life better and I think the best way to do that is to write at least a few sentences every day. 

And so this blog has become my blog of 2012. Let's see how long it lasts!